idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
