A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
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he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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