Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
