I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
