I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
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