I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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