I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
