I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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