I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize
