My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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