I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You don't make any sense
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