I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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