A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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