omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
