so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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