i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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