Kiss
Puke
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
