Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
