chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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