She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
My life is pants optional.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
