so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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