Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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