well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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