he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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