Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
