First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
