found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
