Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I could have mohawked her pubes.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
