please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
