i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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