She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
