i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
