WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
