Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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