i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
