just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
