Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
