Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
