i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
