Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.