I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
My dick has a subreddit
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?