Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick. http://tfl.nu/lewu
  Replies (258) Good night (5096) Bad night (80551)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday http://tfl.nu/tvj7
  Replies (23) Good night (6003) Bad night (835)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around http://tfl.nu/8mq7
  Replies (21) Good night (3677) Bad night (750)
• Favorite

  (578): View more from

  drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (578): drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm http://tfl.nu/89pn
  Replies (14) Good night (1052) Bad night (6244)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me." http://tfl.nu/9q0b
  Replies (4) Good night (3997) Bad night (717)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?" http://tfl.nu/pefr
  Replies (22) Good night (5726) Bad night (2273)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection. http://tfl.nu/ukok
  Replies (12) Good night (1632) Bad night (3256)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face. http://tfl.nu/dfnt
  Replies (13) Good night (2509) Bad night (1026)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl. http://tfl.nu/e3wo
  Replies (11) Good night (810) Bad night (1408)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time. http://tfl.nu/80xt
  Replies (7) Good night (2908) Bad night (639)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69 http://tfl.nu/zybq
  Replies (11) Good night (1323) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather http://tfl.nu/giov
  Replies (17) Good night (1627) Bad night (572)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over http://tfl.nu/or3u
  Replies (2) Good night (2376) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears. http://tfl.nu/5pre
  Replies (3) Good night (737) Bad night (1066)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels. http://tfl.nu/1sci
  Replies (5) Good night (1334) Bad night (515)

Randomize