Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
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Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
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Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?