Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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