alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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