He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
