R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
