Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.