Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do