Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.