She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
