I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica