Texts From Last Night

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(586): View more from Michigan

Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.

(810): View more from Michigan

I hate you so hard.

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(443): View more from Maryland

My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.

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(801): View more from Utah

She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.

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(616): View more from Michigan

Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...

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