When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
