im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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