she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
