i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
