This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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