I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?