Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Send us your Text From Last Night!
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.