I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.