i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Send us your Text From Last Night!
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!