I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
